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Capture Your Grief : Sunrise and Heart

on October 2, 2014

This post is going to deal with loss.  In fact, until the month of November you can expect to see a post dealing with loss every day. If that is upsetting to you, I understand, and hope you will come back and read in November.

October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month.  October 15th is Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day.

Over the past year I have had three losses.  One of which happened in the 9 week mark, the other two occurred within days of a positive pregnancy test.  Tomorrow, October 3rd, is the first anniversary of the first loss.

This year I needed to do something to try to heal.  Try to move on.  Miscarriage is such a touchy subject for many, and unfortunately there is quite the taboo in speaking of it.  The result of which is many women, and men, who have nowhere to turn to with their grief.

So, for the next month, I am taking part in Capture Your Grief “Capture Your Grief is a beautifully poignant act of remembrance and awareness.. There are 31 subjects, one for each day in the month of October. You are invited to share a photo that captures your journey with each daily subject that inspires your heart.”  Some days I will post a picture only and some days I will post a picture with a description.

I missed posting yesterday.  Yesterday’s picture subject was to capture the sunrise.

I unfortunately woke up too late for the sunrise yesterday, but I did capture the sky when I woke up. It was overcast, the sun barely peaking through the clouds.  It felt appropriate for the day.  The overall gloominess of the sky fit my mood, my grief perfectly.  But the sun trying to come out fits who I want to be.  I want to break through the clouds and shine through the grief.

sunrisedayone

Day two had the subject of a heart, to draw a heart to represent the child/children you lost.

Daytwoheart

Samuel, my first loss was due in May of 2014.  We did not have a name for him until it was given to me in a dream by my late grandmother.  It was not a name we had a picked out when we daydreamed about things like that, and the dream felt real enough to me that Samuel will forever be his name.  Our other two losses were so early we never even had the opportunity to daydream.  The due dates for those children were in October of 2014 and March of 2015.

They will forever remain in my heart and forever be a part of me.

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2 responses to “Capture Your Grief : Sunrise and Heart

  1. tinyturner1 says:

    I’m participating in this as well. I lost my twins last year. Hope you don’t mind that I followed you. My heart is with you as you remember your angels.

    • Thank you so much for your thoughts. I am so very sorry for the loss of your twins. I read through some of your blog and it was heartbreaking, I can’t even imagine. I read, though, that your rainbow is coming. My thoughts and prayers are with you for a safe, happy, and uneventful pregnancy.

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